The Cheviot Scavenger Hunt

For years I had talked about doing one. I am not joking it was years. At least 2 or 3. Allison can attest to this. My parents use to organize them and talked about how great it was and I wanted to do. Finally I sat down and said we were doing it and on a whim Allison came along with me. I am not too sure she realized what she got herself into. We planned the date two months in advance. Honestly I didn’t think it was really going to happen when we set the date. But it did and surprisingly people had fun.

This year we finished our THIRD YEAR, which I can’t get over how strange that is. Three years of silliness for the sake of being silly. Not only was it our third year but seriously it was the first time it actually made any money. All of the proceeds went to the great and marvelous Tina Singler. It is just so strange though because the previous two years we hardly broke even.  The money doesn’t matter, it really doesn’t. I am just overwhelmed with happiness. I just remember at the end of the night wrapping everything up with Allison and having that realization ecstatic moment of, “Holy Fucking Chocolate Goodness. We did it!”

There is a great deal of planning that goes into this. No joke, we started planning next years that night while the current scavenger hunt was still happening. There are a lot of big ideas we have floating around for next year. It is scary and fun at the same time. While I hope what we are thinking can take place, if it remained the same I wouldn’t mind at all. Because what it currently is and what it has been is sheer silly fun with my friends and family. Who doesn’t love that? If it gets bigger the more the merrier. If not, that's cool.

Again, I just had to say I am so happy everyone had fun! I know Allison and I had fun planning it. Thank you guys so much for being awesome. We look forward to making you do fun, silly, off the wall things at the 4^th 74^th annual Scavenger Hunt next year.

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Sincerely,

Laura

Typing to type

It is fall incase you didn't notice. You probably didn't. The leaves haven't changed yet. But Starbucks has pumpkins spice lattes and Kroger has Halloween candy and it is colder.
So yay fall.


If you haven't noticed I am just doing this stream of consciences. Not going to let me fingers stop moving or edit while typing. Well I am going to try not to. I spelled Stop in the previous sentence Soap for some reason and it was bothering me so I had to change it. But from here on out not editing.


I don't really know what to say. Fall makes me feel like I have to write but there really isn't much to say. It will come to me eventually. Currently I am listening to music by Brian Eno and drinking sleepy time tea. Well not really drinking it yet. It is still in the tea pot brewing but I will come the end of tonight have drunk my tea and gone to bed.


I've been in a strange mood lately. Not either happy or sad just vanilla. I don't think it is bother some just annoying. I am the quiet girl at the party absorbing everything but not really saying much. Not that I am not interesting I just have a fear of boring other people. I also enjoy hearing other people talk.


While we are on the topic of other people talking I hate it when I get steam rolled in a conversation but I have to do it all the time at work now and it has slowly leaked out into my personal life. Dear close friends I am sorry for that. I love you but bossy Laura sometimes gets ahead of herself.


Type type type fingers keeps moving. I saw a deer today. Michelle and I went to get gelato with baby buddy. It was a lovely fall afternoon and we sat outside and talked as sisters do. Then I walked her home and on my way back I saw them. A momma and a baby no further than three houses down. They obviously saw me before I saw them. I couldn't remember if momma deer were like momma bears at the time. The sight was pretty, unexpected and a bit tense since I didn't want to scare her and find out. I walked in the street and the deer ran away across to a fence line where I saw the baby deer's tail reseed into the distance. It was quite pretty actually. I am happy I didn't have my phone because the camera wouldn't have done it justice.


Tomorrow is a day. Nothing special really. I will make it special in my own way. But still nothing of note happening. Life is what you make it. I want to make it awesome.

I Was Cold So I Traveled to The Beach In Meijer's Parking Lot

Meijer Parking Lot! WOOHOO THE BEACH!

I am sick of the cold. I am sick of the words "Polar" and "Vortex" being put together. I am tired of snow. I am tired of salt making my Soul dirty. I am just done with it.


So the other day I decided to go to the beach. With ventures to Florida actually costing money, and my schedule being what it is I had to be creative. I went to the beach Time Lord Style.


I live very close to a Meijer. This Meijer's real estate was created by blasting into a hill. In doing so it uncovered an old sea bed. Incase you didn't know or forgot, Ohio was once under the sea.


On a total whim after I had been grocery shopping I went to the far end of the parking lot and picked up three rocks. Three rocks at random completely caked in dirt to a point where I didn't know what I had. All I knew is that I would have something. The past in my hand. An ocean long gone but an ocean all the same.


I carried my cache upstairs and promptly placed them in a hot soapy bucket and began scrubbing them with an old toothbrush. Slowly the dirt began to come away revealing more dirt. I began to realize I hadn't just picked up 3 rocks but quite a bit more that were plastered together with dirt. The more I scrubbed the more the details came to life.


I honestly made a point of not looking anything up on the internet about my findings or about how to clean them. I wanted to discover everything on my own. I wanted to scrub and clean them, not expecting to find one type of a fossil or another. Instead of searching for a certain something, I wanted to discover all that I could on my own. I was not disappointed.


One of the rocks has a very fun pattern to it. Little perfect circles randomly spaced with shell patterns placed in-between. Another appears to be just a huge rock completely made out of pushed together shells. They have a little sparkle to them. A few of them were a little plain on the surface so I hit them with a hammer. Again I didn't look up the proper protocol on how to do this. I simply grabbed the hammer and put the rocks in a plastic bag and just started swinging. It felt good. My roommate came in halfway through my experiment. When he asked what I was doing I simply proclaimed, "Science." Again, I wasn't disappointed at what I found.

I often study the stars. In doing so I feel very small. Insignificant really. Looking up at the sky does give you great perspective with the general scheme of things. Solar systems come and go. The lifetime of our Earth pales in comparison to that of the universe. I'll stop there before I start quoting Carl Sagan's "Pale Blue Dot" spiel. But what I am getting at is often when I look up at the sky it gives me the feeling that my problems don't matter. I know I will not make such a difference in the universe, or even the human race, that I will be remembered when humans are living on Saturn's moons. Strangely enough this thought gives me the freedom to simply relax and enjoy my life for what it is. No pressure to impress the future Titanians. I can breath easy.

But looking at these rocks, looking at these fossils, I see a life that I am certain didn't even know it was a life. They are dead and really are simply imprints of former life. These shells and pieces of coral are really an accidental reminder from millions of years ago of what was here. The creatures in the shells millions of years ago fell in just the right place that they are now preserved sitting on my desk. They had very little aspiration in the general scheme of the world. From what I know of shells they eat and reproduce, that's about it. Yet the Earth saw fit to preserve these little guys.

So while my general perspective is that the universe doesn't care about me, these fossil show that the Earth just might. One day millions of years from now, I might be fossil sitting on some future beings desk, while they ponder whether or not I knew I was alive. That makes me smile.

I now have what I like to call my mini beach. It might be snowing outside. The weather may have put a damper on some of my plans tonight. But I am a little warmer now that I am surrounded by the remnants of life from the Ohio Sea bed.

God Killed My Gerbil When I Was In Fifth Grade

It always marvels me where thoughts come from. Ideas, dreams, and memories bubble up to the surface at the weirdest of times. I was at my parent's house a few weekends back looking at a tree as I rocked back and forth on their patio. I was studying the way the leaves clung to one particular branch. Not for any rhyme or reason. It was more or less because I was there, it was there, and it was something to look at.

As I sat there rocking, gazing up at the branch a memory sprang up. Something I hadn't thought of in ages. In the technical sense I hadn't remembered it happening until that very moment. This is probably because I chose to forget the whole situation due to guilt.

I don't know exactly what my father said. All I remember was that I was sitting in our old van and I got the impression from him that my mother was going to have a baby. If you know my father, you know he has a very snarky, sarcastic, dry sense of humor. I am going to assume my father was being sarcastic. Either way, the seed was planted that I would pretty soon no longer be the youngest child in my family.

This was an Earth shattering moment for me. I was the baby of the family. That was my identity. Think of it as a midlife crisis in fifth grade. If I wasn't the baby of the family anymore who was I?

What was worse was my mother never talked about it. For what seemed like weeks I sat there waiting for my mother to break the news so I could properly grieve over my lost status. But it never came. Which was worse.

In school we were studying parts of the Old Testament. In case you didn't know God was very vengeful in the Old Testament. Burning cities, flooding the Earth, and making people walk in the desert for forty years. I know I am paraphrasing. Still that stuff can be pretty terrifying for a child.

With Old Testament God on my shoulders, I couldn't help thinking I did something wrong. He was punishing me with a younger sibling for something I had done.

One day after school my mother brought my sister and I into the car. She said she had something important to tell us. I prayed, "Dear God, let it be anything else. Anything but another kid. Please anything, but that."

"Laura, your gerbil is dead," I started crying. But not for the reasons that you would think.

I loved my gerbil, PJ. Don't get me wrong. He could do back flips. He had a slightly grey butt that made it look like he was wearing underwear. He also didn't bight very often. Minus the fact his cage could get pretty smelly he was an awesome pet. Still my crying wasn't from grief over him like it should have been. It was from fear and guilt.

Fear because I thought God granted my prayer but took my gerbil as payment. Guilt because if that was the case PJ's death was my fault.

I didn't know what to do. It wasn't fair. While PJ wasn't the dog I always pushed my parents to get, he was still MY pet. I was responsible for him. I kept thinking of what I could have done differently. What would have kept that from happening? My thoughts kept creeping back to Old Testament God. How PJ's life was sacrificed to answer my prayers, like a lot of animals in the Old Testament. Nothing could get rid of the guilt I felt.

PJ was placed in small white card board box from a department store. The kind of box that normally housed jewelry was taped up with my dead gerbil inside of it. I cried as I held it. Stroking it. Thinking of how I would do anything to have PJ back.

Then my thoughts bounced to Lazarus. It could be because that was the name of the department store on the box. I am not too sure. Either way the story of Jesus resurrecting Lazarus came to mind. If my prayers took away PJs life why couldn't they bring him back? Jesus did it so easily. If I prayed hard enough then it could potentially work. In case you were wondering, yes this was my first big brush with death.

I prayed as hard as I could with my hand hovering over the box. Asking God to forgive me for what I had done and telling PJ to rise. Moments later I started to panic. Realizing that if PJ did wake up he was pretty well taped up in that box and was probably suffocating to death again.

I begged my mom to let me open it up. I didn't tell her it was because I thought he was alive again. I think I simply told her it was because I wanted to pet him. Neil Gaiman said it right when he wrote, "I knew enough about adults to know that if I did tell them what had happened, I would not be believed."

Thinking back as an adult I know my mother was right to not open the box. Gerbils carry a lot of bacteria when they are alive. Who knows how much they carry when they are dead? But in my childhood brain PJ was not dead. Well not dead yet. It was a classic Schrodinger situation. Although I didn't know who Schrodinger was at the time.

After a couple minutes passed I felt doubly guilty. I not only killed my gerbil with prayer, I brought him back only to kill him again.

PJ was laid to rest on the side yard of the old house. Mom read some prayers from a children's prayer book. I placed some small purple flowers on his grave as well as a rock to mark where he was. After that I think I had to go to basketball practice.

It is strange to remember the thoughts that I had then. Thinking back I still feel a small amount of guilt. I know it is irrational. But I can't help thinking, what if it was true?

Surprise Fireworks at a Bookstore

I walked into a bookstore the other day for the first time in a long time. Which makes it sound like I don't read. I do. It is just that every bookstore near me has closed within the past three years. The only place I can buy books without going out of my way now is my Kindle, Target, and the internet.
It was like coming home. I've always felt that way in any place that has a good deal of books. How could you not? There before you are hundreds of friends who are willing to let you read their minds. Thousands of people waiting to meet you. So many opportunities for you to be whoever, whatever, wherever, whenever you want.
I walked around the store for an hour or so before settling on the new Neil Gaiman book The Ocean at the End of the Lane. I brought it up to the coffee shop and settled into a seat that looked over the river and city skyline. I was passing the time. Waiting for a movie that wouldn't start for another hour.
I sat in my chair drifting off to another world. Occasionally drifting back in to check the time, observe the city scape, and people watch. There was a couple not too far from me. I could tell they were either on their first or second date. She stated that the reason she doesn't like the NBA is because of the Korean War. I wish I had recorded her argument. It was beautiful, scary, and stupid. All rolled into one.
Thirty minutes before my movie was to start I started taking bigger gulps of my coffee. I debated staying and reading a little longer, but I have this thing about being on time. I hate being late. Even with the previews for the movie taking up 15 minutes, I had to be there right at the start time.
As I picked up my book and threw away my cup I heard a loud boom and a succession of loud crackles. I thought a bomb had gone off until I saw the colorful sparks out the window.
Large loud fireworks were being set off half a football field away from the shop. I walked out on the store's balcony in awe. I was later told they were professional fireworks setup for a festival going on across the river.
At that point I didn't care. There was no space to. Everything was filled with colors, sounds and vibrations. First there was the colorful sparks, followed a boom that reverberated off of your chest. Then ricocheted off of the city then back to you and into your ear.
There were three other people with me on the balcony and a handful below. It was such a sight to see. I felt like a child.
The show went on for 30 minutes. I was late for my movie, but strangely I didn't care. I wish I could've taken a picture. I tried with my phone, but it simply didn't do it justice.

Traffic Sucks: A Short Story

Below is a short story I have been mulling over in my brain for a very long time. I think of it often when i am stuck in traffic. I have finally given it an end but I do not think I am finished writing it. So the something new here is sharing fiction.

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They often carpooled since their offices were a block away. She, however, went into work early that day. They were leaving for Florida that night and her plan was to leave work early to make sure she packed everything they needed.

Mike loved Sarah but her attention to detail often drove him nuts. One of her favorite sayings was, "When you are 5 minutes late you may as well be 5 hours late."

He could hear her say that to him as he inched his car a little closer to the Ford Focus in front of him on I71.

"She is going to kill me," he thought.

She told him to be home at 5:30pm which had come and gone a few minutes ago. He was surprised she hadn't called him.

"The phone," he laughed.

That's how they first met. He was a salesman for an office supply company. She was an administrative assistant. Every week like clock work she would call at exactly 2 o'clock and list supplies she needed. He never really said much to her, and never really cared to until he heard her laugh. He doesn't remember why she laughed, he just remembers thinking it was the strangest laugh he had ever heard. Almost like a horse. On a whim he asked her for a date. Later she would admit she only said yes because she was in shock. For the months she ordered things from Mike she thought his real name was something else and he lived in India.

They dated for three months then moved in together. A few months later they got engaged then married the following week, to their parents surprise. She was Jewish and he was Catholic. Neither were practicing but both of them came from big families who loved to voice their opinions. He really didn't like his in-laws but since Sarah admitted they were crazy he could tolerate them on normal holidays.

They were going away for their ten year anniversary. The car in front of him moved a little further forward. His phone began to ring but he ignored it. He knew it was her. He knew what she'd say.

He thought it best to wait until he got home to explain why he was late. The radio traffic report just came on. Apparently a few miles a head from where Mike was there was an accident. A car slid under a truck and now there was a helicopter on the scene. The radio personality basically said Mike wouldn't be moving for a while.

"Great," he said, "Thanks to some moron I'm going to miss my flight and not have sex for a month."

His phone started ringing. He waited for her picture to pop up and smiled a little before he hit ignore and turned it off. She'd tell him it was his fault for leaving so late. He knew it probably was but he didn't need her to remind him.

He started thinking of what he would tell her when he walked in the door. How his working late paid for the trip in the first place.He wasn't that late anyways, and besides she already packed for him. Mumbling something about being underappreciated as he made his way past her to hurriedly get the suitcases in the car. She'd be pissed the whole ride to the airport and extremely passive aggressive. That was her fighting style. Subtle but loud. But he knew he would be okay if he got her on the dang plane on time.

"Move it!" he yelled. His thoughts drifted to the moron that was holding him up. He wondered if said moron woke up that morning and decided to cause such a mess or if they came by it naturally. Did they know how their actions affected other people? Did this stupid idiot realize how many lives they would be impacting by doing what they did? At the root of it all was the big question, did they know they were keeping Mike from what was to be the greatest vacation ever? Did they even care?

As the song ended the radio personality said that they had shut down all lanes of traffic. He kept saying it would be hours. Hours of Mike being stuck where he was. Because there were no exits between where he was and the accident.

"Stupid, fucking, day drunk idiot!" he slammed his hands on his steering wheel. He sat there waiting. Looking around, the faces in the cars began to become familiar. He could tell most were just as frustrated as he was. He made up life stories for them to pass the time. 

There was Tony in the Toyota. Based off of the empty kid's booster seat in the back, poor Tony too was headed toward a pissed off wife at home. He seemed less frustrated than Mike about this fact. More interested at looking at his cellphone screen than anything else.

Karen in the Kia just looked like a zombie. She had a long work day and just wanted to get home to her three cats Jim Bob, Jonas, and Gemini He could tell she drank a great deal of coffee. "Do zombies prefer caffeinated brains or decaf brains?" he wondered. He then proceeded the create a whole zombie human coffee franchise, before realizing it was entirely implausible. There would be no way to ensure a steady stream of product to the consumer in a zombie apocalypse. 

Looking over at Henry in the Hummer he felt the urge to get out of his car, drive the Hummer over everyone in front of him to give the driver in the accident a piece of his mind. 

An hour had already passed. They were going to miss the flight no matter what now. They used this stretch to get to the airport and from what he could tell traffic was stopped in all directions. "Thousands of people's evening plans are being interrupted because of this dumb ass." He simply couldn't get over how the driving mistake of one person could cause trouble for so many people.

He knew he would be in hot water. An hour of no word was bound to leave her clawing at the curtains.He picked up his phone and turned it on. Instantly it began to ring displaying his wife's picture.

"Hey honey, sorry I'm"

"Who is this?" a person interrupted. It was very hard to hear them. There was a lot of noise in the background.

"Who is this? Did Sarah lose her phone again?" Her phone had been dropped, kicked, stepped on, run over, and thrown in water. A traditional Nokia flip phone. She often joked about how they were war buddies and she could never let go of it. Though she often left it behind when she was in a hurry.

"Sir, you are listed as the in case of emergency contact in this phone. Do you know the number uhhmm I am calling you from?"

"Yes it is my wife's number."

"Sir, I saw the whole thing and found her her phone in the car. It works and so I've been trying to call you."

"What? Who is this? What's going on?"

"I've got someone on the phone. Her husband," he could hear the person yell. There was some ruffling and then a different voice, "Sir, I've got some news for you. A Mrs. Sarah White has just been in a car accident. We just got her out of the car and will be transporting her via medevac to Good Sam. Do you have any questions?"

My interview at JC Dillarcy

So, I've had a lot of free time lately. I decided that it might be a good idea for me to get a part time job for a little while. Not to toot my own horn but I am very good at customer service. Also landing a job in customer service isn't that difficult. With my five years of experience it wouldn't be that hard to get a job. With that in mind I applied for a position at a department store. We shall call in JC Dillarcy's.

I received a phone call the following day requesting an interview. I set it up for two o'clock. The woman that I talked with on the phone told me to go to the customer service desk on the second floor. There I would find a computer with a red phone. I was to fill out some information on the computer and dial a number on the red phone. Someone would then come out and interview me.

Pretty straight forward. I didn't even think to write down the name of the woman I talked with on the phone. In hindsight that was a bad call. If any of my younger cousins are reading this, always write down the name of the person you are going to interview with.

So I managed to make it to the mall on time, but failed to make it to the store on time. This strange happening is due to the stupid dummy that designed the parking lot. I could see the store. It was simply too far away to walk to, and I couldn't get my car over there. Sometimes I think the all encompassing "they" should come up with a gps for mall parking lots.

I arrived to the interview about 10 minutes late. I wasn't too worried. Dear younger cousin, if you are reading this, NEVER SHOW UP TO AN INTERVIEW LATE. That is unless you are me and are simply looking for something to keep you from being bored.

So I walk in, head up to the second floor and couldn't find customer service anywhere. Eventually I ran into a very nice sales associate working in the home goods, we shall call him George. I explained that I was there for an interview and needed to find Customer Service. He then told me to walk to the Salon and off to the left I would find the Customer Service Desk.

Sure enough, I walked to the Salon and off to the left, through a slightly hidden door was Customer Service. There was no computer or red phone, like I was told there would be. Only a slightly perturbed woman sitting at the desk.

"Hello, my name is Laura. I am here for an interview."

"Okay," was all she said.

"I was told there would be a computer for me to fill out some information before hand."

She sighed and looked up at me, "Do you know the name of the person you are interviewing with?"

"No, unfortunately I forgot. I am interviewing for a sales position though."

"Go upstairs you will find a computer right when you walk up. Take the test and follow all of the directions. Someone will then interview you."

"Where are the stairs?"

"Right next to the door you just walked in."

Sure enough right next to the door hidden in the Salon was a super sketchy set of hidden stairs.

I walked up the steps and instantly felt like I was on a set for an apocalypse movie. I can never get over how clean retail stores can be on the sales floor and extremely dirty they are in the back. This is the most extreme case I have ever seen. It was pretty much an abandoned cube farm with many likewise abandoned offices off to the side. It was dimly lit with manikins placed sparsely throughout. Every other light was on. There were no windows.

Sure enough as I walked up the stairs directly in front of me was an early 2000s Windows computer and a red phone. I could tell the computer was on but I couldn't get it to wake up. I touched the mouse, pressed some keys, turned the monitor on and off, even tapped the power button. Nothing happened. I then turned it off and turned it back on again. It took five minutes to load. By this point it was 2:30 pm.

I got through the survey that was basically trying to surmise if I am an axe murderer. Those surveys are so easy to fool. With questions like, "Do you go out of your way NOT to talk to people?" and "Is it moral to steal office supplies?" It is pretty much a no brainier for the average bear.

After getting through the survey a screen popped up telling me to pick up the red phone and dial some numbers.

"Customer Service, how can I help you?"

"Hi, I just got finished with the career survey. It told me to dial this number to setup an interview."

"Do you know the name of the person you will be interviewing with?"

"No, I forgot to write it down."

There was an audible sigh on her end, "Hold on, I will call you back."

I sat there for a minute or two. The phone rang.

"Hello."

"Do you have time for an interview today?"

"Yes," I replied.

"Wait five minutes and I will call you back."

I waited. I eventually caved an got out my phone and started texting people. The red phone rang again.

"One of our Sales Managers, George, will be up to see you shortly."

"Great, is there a restroom I could use?"

She told me it was along the far wall to the left of where I was sitting. I walked down the aisle through the abandoned cubicles. They weren't filled with storage. In fact they were setup with desks, chairs, phones, keyboards, and mice, but no computer monitors or computers. Either everyone was on vacation and works on laptops, or no one sits there anymore. I was leaning more towards the no one sits there.

As I walked out of the restroom, I could see the George I met downstairs. He was walking around the cubes. A couple of times he looked right at me. I smiled at him and waved, but he just kept on looking. I walked back over to the desk and sat down at the computer with the red phone. He then approached me and said, "You must be Laura!" in a really high sales pitch voice.

I wanted to say, "No shit. Do you see anyone else up here?" I opted for the more polite, "That's me."

He took me to a small dusty conference room where he proceeded to talk about his career for 30 minutes.

He would ask me a question, "How many years have you worked in retail?"

"I have five years of experience working in retail."

"Oh, really? You look so young. I hate it when people say that to me. They tell me I am too young to be a manager, but I've been one for two years. Not here though. I've only been here for a few weeks. I've had four other jobs before this one. All in management. I enjoy working with people. All of my jobs have been retail..."

Suffice to say that was the easiest interview I've ever been on. All I had to do was smile, nod, and say "Oh that's interesting" every couple minutes. I passed with flying colors.

He then proceeded to ask me if I had time and who I was initially here to interview with. When I told him I didn't remember he proceeded to run through the names of all of the managers. First names only. All of the names were ones like Ashley, Jill, Samantha, Holly, Jennifer, and Tiffany. Then asked if any of those sounded familiar. Of course they all did. I said Ashley and Jill but I wasn't sure.

"Well Ashley is off today and Jill is on maternity leave. I doubt it was any of them. Stay here for five minutes and I will see what else needs to be done."

By this point it was 3:30. I had nowhere to be that day, so I just hung out in the dusty conference room. I found the interview more entertaining and less serious.

"Hi, what's your name? I'm the store manager."

"I'm Laura," I got up and shook her hand.

"Well Laura, do you know who you are going to be interviewing with?"

"Unfortunately, no. I don't remember her name."

"Okay well you will be interview with my Assistant Store Manager. Follow me." She led me through the cubicles, down another hallway, and through some double doors.

"Is it nice out?" she asked.

"Yes, a little hot. I am told it will rain today.

"I can't tell from in here."

I wanted to say, "because you don't have any windows." but I opted for, "You should get out and enjoy it at some point."

"I think I have grown too use to my controlled climate. I don't have to worry about rain."

We reached the Assistant Store Manager's office when I said to the Store Manager, "Ya, if it rains in here you've got bigger issues."

The Assistant Store Manager wisely told me that it can't rain inside. The Store Manager left without saying goodbye. With no introductions I simply said, "My name is Laura."

"I know, please take a seat." She had my resume in front of here. There are a lot of experience she could have asked me about on that piece of paper. I should know. I wrote it. Every single one of them stretching back to 2005 lists where they were located and how long I was there. She chose to ask me why I decided to move here from Alaska. I worked in Alaska for one summer in college. The remainder of my time has been in or around Cincinnati.

That's how the interview went. She would tell me about the job, then ask me a random out of the blue question.

"So you aren't commission based. However, higher sales mean a larger salary in the long run. What was your reason for leaving your job in 2010?"

This interview went on for maybe 15 minutes. She told me the amount the position made, and the hours it required. She then told me I had class on Thursday. Never told me I had the job. Just told me I had to be at class on Thursday at 10am with two proofs of ID.

When I told her I had plans for Thursday, she then moved the class to Friday. I ended up not taking the job that was never technically offered to me. Oddly enough not because of the interview process. More because of the distance from my house.